Sunday, February 15, 2009

A Valentine at the Cemetery

The snow has at last melted away and so I delivered Caitlin's pink heart to her grave today. It was a very cold day and the ground looks pretty beat up, a lot like how I've felt these past days, mostly because the flu and cold season found me and held me hostage for two days.

I could already tell that her butterfly was gone from the last time I dug her stone out of the snow, so I had a new one in the car just for when this happened. I was surprised I didn't get more upset about it being gone, but there it was a new butterfly to help me think of her spirit soaring. I love this picture, because there is a perfect little butterfly shadow I hadn't noticed when I took the picture. I suppose shadows are creepy for some people, but I find them to be proof that something we can't touch is really there and I think of Caitlin that way sometimes--if I could see her shadow somehow I would know she was there, even though I can't hug her--she would still be there.

Finally, DH is very wise and bought me pink tulips for Valentine's Day even though we agreed we didn't really care much to celebrate the Hallmark Holiday--but he is oh so much smarter than to believe me when I say these things!


  1. I like your shadow analogy. It's beautiful.

    I don't have much experience with snow. Here you have to go to certain mountains to really see it. I always find it fascinating that it melts and the grass is still underneath it. Your new butterfly for Caitlin is beautiful. I like the shadow too.

    Lol about your husband. It's nice when they learn not to listen to us sometimes... :) Your tulips are stunning!

  2. You've created the most beautiful memorial to your precious baby girl at her grave but also here, with your poetry, the art that you've chosen and your lovely words. Everything about it speaks love. I hope you find peace and comfort.