Tuesday, February 3, 2009

For Her Father

With February well on its way, I've been thinking about Valentine's Day. I don't particularly care for holidays. Well, I like them, I just try hard not to have too high expectations of myself and others. Since Caitlin's death some holidays are particularly painful for me (like Mother's Day). My reflections on this up-and-coming Hallmark event, brought me to something I wrote after our daughter died, and the strength my DH showed in holding me, until I was strong enough to hold him.

For Her Father

For the one who held me as I wailed
Who waited to release his pain
To be present with mine
Who understood
As I clung to his breathing body
That I was trying to fold myself into him
Searching and aching to find my child
Within him
Draining myself into his soul
Resting for a moment there

For the one who then
Entrusted his sorrows to me
Released tears that bathed my naked arm
Buried his head in my neck

I cherish you
Each other we find our child
For her essence
Lives in us


  1. That took my breath away. Absolutely beautiful writing.
    Thank you for sharing.
    I can't remember if I've introduced myself or not, but I've been grieving with you for several months since I found your blog.
    I lost my baby 6 days before his scheduled birth, in November 2007. Thank you for your sensitive and very real writing. May you have peace in your heart tonight.

  2. Your words bring forth such emotional images. It is beautiful. Touching as always.