Out of respect, I won't mention that I think it's sad that the death of a child becomes the pulpit to stand upon and proselytize the right spiritual way or the path to damnation of a soul, and righteously shout when others don't see the correct way, the your-salvation way.
Out of respect, I won't mention that I think it's sad when the death of a child is explained with words that diminish the grief parents feel with "When you're dead you cease to exist, and nothing lives past it's life, and so your grief is your own, because the dead don't know anyway." And that feels a lot like proselytizing, too, the right way, the your-preservation way.
Out of respect, I won't mention that I feel frustrated in this complex world where the bereaved, when hanging on to a faith because it supports and comforts themselves, ignore that another is hanging on just as tightly to another faith or a non-belief.
And it feels like we'd all be a lot better off if Compassion won out over righteous faith and correct beliefs. Because, I'm thinking that swaying another might make an individual feel better, as if they were doing the Work, answering a call, or educating, but, when in the position of being swayed or educated, when in the position of being the recipient of proselytizing--it doesn't feel that way.
It doesn't feel like love.
And it doesn't feel like compassion.
There, I said it and I'm glad. And I say that out of respect for our dead children. And I say that out of respect for the God I believe in and the mind I was given to reason.
I hope that it wasn't said to you. It is inappropriate - but as you say, it makes some people feel better in a situation where they would DO better if they could sit with another in the uncomfortableness and sadness, the confusion and the lack of answers.
ReplyDeleteI find it offensive that someone else can question the faith of a person who has stood at deaths door and watched their child pass through.