It's a short post. I read another mother's post today about the anniversary of her child's death and mentioning that it's another year away from her child.
This realization that with each day of surviving the death of my child, I will experience further separation from her. It's an excruciatingly slow progression, irreversible, and with each moment, I get farther away from her life. I am helpless with the knowledge that this is another example of what forever means.
Then I read another post and a mom's work manager wonders if she has "moved on." And I'm screaming inside, "She has no choice, but to be moved away from her son with each passing moment.
Getting farther out
Away from your life
Reaching but not reaching a destination
Where you live
I am slumped
helplessly watching as your craft
pulls away, never out of sight
but forever
getting farther out
It just sucks. Sorry I can't be more positive today. Some days I am thankful I have made it over 12 years, others it rips my heart out of my chest just thinking of how long I have been without my daughter, and how much longer I have to go.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. But, I know how much you LOVE your baby. Caitlin will always be with you, no matter how much time passes. Heaven knows no time.
ReplyDeleteSo true... we are helpless. Time will not stand still.
ReplyDeleteSending you strength.
xo
It's painful - the distance time brings. I hate it still in a way.
ReplyDeleteSo true. Time keeps ticking on, moving us with it, while our sweet babies are stuck in the past, living on only in our hearts. It is a difficult thing to deal with. The last of your poem says it well.
ReplyDelete