Been thinking about how life changes and perhaps this is because of my age, but I'm inclined to think that it's more connected to my life experience of losing my daughter. You see in the wake of changes in work and other life events, nothing seems like a new beginning anymore. Just seems like a continuation of what is since her death. Everything gets measured by what life was like before and now what life is like after. Ah, so there are no new beginnings---just more steps on the journey.
Very well said!!! ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI keep coming back to this. I haven't given up on or lost new beginnings, but I do measure life in the before and after. While we each walk this road alone, there is company on the journey. Thinking of you here in the the "after."
ReplyDeleteI guess its part of how the new you works, as the old you went with her to Heaven - atleast thats how I view myself. Hugs xxx
ReplyDeleteyes, a simple truth. xx ines
ReplyDeleteI feel just this way too. Thank you for articulating it so well. xo
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ReplyDeleteInteresting...
ReplyDeleteI was pondering this earlier. What would life be like if Calieb hadn't been concieved? Would I be more content, focused, patient and all the other things I thought I was before? It fundamentally changed me. I don't like the "after" me so much.
I'm thinking of this too. I don't know how I will be on the other side of this, it's still too early for me. But I'm scared to lose myself, and scared that I will change, and it won't be a good change. What else can I do, though...Life does change with the death of a child. And we are forced to change too, part of us dying with the child, and the rest trying to patch back together some semblance of life and living.
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