Sunday, November 1, 2009

All Saint's Day

I went to visit Caitlin's grave yesterday, and thought a lot about All Souls Day coming up, and celebration of All Saint's Day today. According to my religion, I need not pray for Caitlin's soul to be purified in purgatory, as she entered the kingdom of heaven with no sins to purge. I supposed I am to be comforted by that, but I wish that she were here and could be well on her way to racking up some "sins." She deserved to live here on earth with her mama and daddy. At the same time, it is comforting to think of her in paradise with the saints.

I played some of her songs on my ipod as I sat at her grave. All her angels and other items I've brought were still there, which always makes me relieved and grateful. The frog toy still makes noise, but the smiley face one has succumbed to elements and no longer makes the bird and squeaky noises it used to.

Today has more special meaning, as it's Caitlin's grandfather's birthday. So, I'm remembering him holding her and remembering the hope I felt in those days of her life. Perhaps she has already whispered a gentle "happy birthday, Papa J" with her angel voice on the wind. If not, I'll relay the message soon.


  1. I'm glad all your things are still at the cemetery. It's amazing how distressing it is when things aren't right.

    Happy birthday to "Papa J"—it's a sweet picture.

  2. The picture of Caitlin with her grandfather is so moving. Beautiful.

    Happy Birthday to Caitlin's Papa J.

  3. What a sweet picture, happy birthday to Papa J.

  4. This part choked me up: "but I wish that she were here and could be well on her way to racking up some "sins."

    What songs did you play?

    Happy birthday to Papa J.

  5. When my show of being normal is ok at the end of the day, I come to this blog world and spend some time with my angel baby. I cry and smile and share. And it is all about Akul. I know how healing it is to spend time with our babies. I am glad you did the same with Caitlin.

  6. Thinking of you and Caitlin, and of her grandfather.

  7. What a precious photo, thank you so much for sharing it. Sending you love and thinking of Caitlin today.