Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Rabbit Hole

Rabbit Hole is a movie getting some press lately about a couple whose son dies. I thought I might go see it, but didn't want to sit and watch another mis-informed stupid story about how the death of a child results in some happy ending--a happy ending that "normals" write, because they don't understand this life. You know, the one where some event or gift of life "fixes" them.

I saw an interview with Nicole Kidman, who said she didn't talk to bereaved parents because as a parent she could use her own emotions. Well, OK, but you can't know these emotions through the fear of the worst possible event in your life--ask a bereaved parent. Rumors swirl that she may understand because she had some miscarriages. Ah, well, I wonder at whether that should matter to me if it's a useful story.

I watched the trailers and thought, well, maybe it will be a comforting depiction. It was snippets of echos of some of my experiences. Especially the first group meeting I went too, when parents 8, 12, and more years out than me were sobbing.

Then I found the screen play, and read from beginning to end. It's good. It makes sense. So, I tried to find a theatre "near me," and well, although the horror movies and the violent sex thrillers are easy to find--a drama about the death of a child without blood or intrigue or the devil's spawn, just wasn't to be found near me.

God, we are all too afraid to feel anything real, and so we see movies to feel the extremes of what isn't real. I think it's like an anesthesia.


  1. I was wondering whether this was worth seeing. The reviews have been good, but how many of the reviewers are bereaved parents themselves & able to REALLY judge whether it's an accurate depiction? So thanks for the script approval. ; ) I'm still on the fence about whether I want to spend an afternoon crying (as I'm sure I will be), but it's nice to know someone out there in Hollywood "gets it."

  2. I had not heard of this movie and I would be skeptical as you. I'm not sure if I'll seek it out or not... but who knows, the mood may strike. I hope the movie is honest to the rawness and truth of our emotions as bereaved parents.

  3. I've heard about this one and was intrigued, too. I'm too cheap to go to the theatre, but will check it out on dvd at home. If you do manage to see it, please post your review!

  4. So true , I like your observation.
    Even in our " modern " times there is still taboo subjects and strangely enough the taboo subjects is something that happens to people quite often.
    I have experienced 2 miscarriages and I was shocked to realize that people dont want to talk about it, not even my closest family and my closest friends .
    Everybody wants to avoid it even if this is something that is rather common .
    I agree with you its a paradox that people avoid this but go to the cinema to watch horrors and violent thrillers .Maybe its just a way to relieve your fear in general....
    I hope you find it on DVD soon and can watch it at home .
    ps I like your blog and the poetry .
    The poems touch my heart and brings healing .
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts

  5. 'God, we are all too afraid to feel anything real', I think you're right.
    Nobody wants to talk about what happened to my children but, if it were the far fetched plot of a soap opera, I'm sure everyone would be chatting about it around the water cooler :(
    It's a mad world.