A Fifth Season is a place of pause to grieve the death of my first and only child. A season characterized by reflection on the big stuff and the little stuff that this mom encounters as I parent the memory of my child, and my child, in loving return, parents my heart.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Let it Be
I sometimes listen to music on YouTube, and I wanted to hear this song again because it's still rattling around since that Walaid, Delayed, and Detoured day. I usually open another tab and let some music play, while I work or surf for other information. But, today, I wanted to study the lyrics as I listened, because there is clearly a reason my mind and heart are not done with this song. I was reminded how inspirational the song is for me personally, especially as a bereaved mother. Also, the connection to the religious iconic figure from my faith is pretty powerful as well--beautiful words the writer hears whispered from a bereaved Mother. While I'm ruminating, I catch an error in the lyrics typed for the video, "here will be an answer" instead of "there will be an answer." Well, there it is, a kernel of something new I gained from focused study on something my mind wanted me to look at (though it didn't know about this error), I think that error might be a typical unconscious statement of how this song is used to speak to how the song may have the power to comfort.
Here's what I mean: "There" means, the answer will come someday, but "here," means an answer, and for me meaning, is here already, embodied in melody and voice. Meaning that is fashioned in my mind and heart as I remember Caitlin in the here and now, perhaps as the light that shines on me. And answers are here within myself, as I explore my connections with my religion and my reason.
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Beautiful and profound. Being a lost baby mom myself I cried as I heard the powerful music and read the simple lyrics. Perhaps "let it be" is acceptance. Acceptance that it has happened, acceptance that there is nothing you could have possibly done, and acceptance that we cannot control things in life.
ReplyDeleteI have always loved this song of surrender and release. Of not needing to be strong and hold it all together.
ReplyDeleteThere will be an answer. Surrender to the not-knowing. For now.
XOXO
Wow, I've always found that song comforting and uplifting. But, your post, as always, gives an added and beautiful insight. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteInteresting thooughts
ReplyDeleteGreatt read thankyou
ReplyDelete