Weary
My grief filters each new day's light
And my heart sees an old worn out version of the previous day
monotonous tasks of questionable meaning
Tired
My grief has worn me to exhaustian
Pouring a sludge in my brain that my mind trudges through
Leaving a slime trail of fatigue and apathy
I rub my heart's eyes and vigorously scrub my mind
but, can I be repaired?
Think clearly? Remember details? Complete tasks? Do my work?
Meet expectations? Respond coherently? Pay attention?
Guilt whispers, "Others have equal challenges. More challenges."
My battered and bruised mind and near blind heart stoically reply,
"And, this is mine."
This hurt, this death, this loss, this grief
This challenge is mine.
And these days, it's left me
Tired and Weary
Yes, my brain feels like sludge a lot too at the moment. I am so tired.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you,
I am so very sorry for your loss... I understand your pain. I too lost my child, my only child, my best friend and the love of my life... July 21st was 5 years since Chris was murdered. I read feelings and stories of parents new on this journey all the time and it is testament that I have survived and healed along the way, you will too. In small unnoticeable steps sometimes... but just writing about your grief is proof that you are a survivor. It is one of the most healing things you can do for yourself.
ReplyDeleteWishing you peace & Light